The mating call of the blonde: "I am so-o-o-o drunk."
The visiting young nephew of a sex shop owner is asked to mind the store while his uncle goes out to run a few errands. The young nephew, eager to please, assures his uncle that he'll do a good job and make some sales while he is gone.
A few minutes after the uncle leaves, a brunette walks in and checks out the dildos. Finally, she says, "How much is that black dildo? I've never had a black one before." The eager nephew replies, "Why, that'll be €49.99, Madam." So, the brunette makes the purchase and walks out with a smile on her face.
A short time later, a pretty young black woman enters the sex shoppe and purchases a white dildo for the first time.
Eventually, a blonde pops in and eyes the varied assortment of dildos. Finally, she points and inquires, "Well, I've never had one like that before! How much for that checkered one over there?" "Why that one is special," responds the fill-in sales clerk with a wry smile. "That'll cost ya €200." "Fine, I'll take it," replies the blond as she produces the money from her purse. Having made her purchase, the blonde leaves the sex shop with a satisfied grin on her face.
Finally, the owner returns and asks his nephew how things went. The nephew, beaming with pride, replied: "You'll be proud of me uncle! I sold a white dildo for €49.99, a black dildo for the same - why I even sold your thermos bottle for 200 euros!
Blonde at the Gynecologist's Office
Two expecting women, a brunette and a blonde, were waiting to see the gynecologist when the two started chatting about the possible gender of their prospective babies. The brunette said to the blonde, "You know, I heard once that if a woman conceives after doing it in the missionary position, the baby will be a boy, but if the man's on top, it will be a girl. Hearing this, the blonde exclaimed in a panic, "Oh my gosh, I'm gonna have puppies!"
Blonde Celebration
Ten blondes burst into a local bar in a gust of contagious enthusiasm. The group brings in a large jigsaw puzzle picture of the cookie monster, mounted unto a wood frame and encased in glass. They set the picture on a corner of the bar and flock around it as they order the finest champagne, toasting, jumping up and down in a fury of uncontained excitement, and high-fiving each other. Finally, the bartender's curiousity prevails and he asks the blondes what the heck is going on. One of the blondes responds, "Well everyone thinks us blondes are soooo dumb! Well, that's simply not true and we set out to prove it! You see this picture-puzzle of the cookie monster?" "Yea?" replied the puzzled bartender. "Well," continues the blonde, "It took all of us only six months to complete it, while on the box it said 'Three to six years!'"
Why? What?
Why did the blonde mother change her baby's diapers only once every three months? Because on the packaging it said good for up to 15 kilos.
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Why did eighteen blondes get together to go to the same movie? Because the sign said "Under eighteen not admitted."
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Why don't blondes eat bananas? They can't find the zippers.
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What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
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So Blonde...
She was so blonde, she tripped over her cordless phone. She was so blonde it took her two hours to watch "60 Minutes." In fact, she was so blonde, she drowned her goldfish.
Broke Blonde
A blonde finds herself flat broke, having purchased a lot of air at really cheap prices. In dire financial straits, she decides to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So the desperate blonde snatches a younster at a playground and writes the following ransom note: "I grabbed your kid. Put $10,000 in unmarked bills in a brown paper bag to be placed under the oak tree by the playground slides by noon tomorrow or else... Signed, a blonde." She then pins the ransom note to the poor, confused kid and sends him home
By noon the next day, sure enough, there was a brown paper bag under the designated oak tree. The blonde rubbed her hands with glee to find the required sum in bundles of $100 bills. Attached to one of the bundles was the following note: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!"